20 Jul “I Missed You So Much, My True Love, And You Are The First Thing That I Want To See When I Wake Up”, I tell my coffee cup as the fresh pot of #cafeAf brews. “Get a room”, HR replies as the enters the kitchen, “and, where are your pants, Yo?” #embarassingAF (2.6k)
“I haven’t done a pure Björk day in a while”, I tell HR as I sip on my freshly brewed coffee (see the footer for a great idea on your next coffee selection, Yo!).
“What’s that?”, HR asks me as she spits out her mouthful of coffee, “this shit’s hot… OOOWWWW!!!”
“Oh! Yeah”, I tell HR as I take another sip of my coffee, “don’t be a pussy. Also, it’s when I listen to a mix of one artist all day. I haven’t listened to her in a while. Hmm?”
“I want to do that too”, HR replies as she puts the ice cube into her coffee mug, “but it’s going to be a pure day of kicking your ass, bitch.”
“What?”, I reply to HR as I set my coffee down on the kitchen table, “that’s a bit aggressive. How about a pure day of shut the”
The phone rings; we have a mystery, the voice says on the other line.
“Well here’s something that’s not a mystery”, I reply to the cloaked voice on thevideotelepathy device, “don’t call me.”
I hang up the phone; sip my coffee; put on my pants (yeah, why wasn’t I wearing pants. WeirdAF, huh?); put on Homogenic; headphones on; jacket zipped up; let’s do this shit, today, I think as I close the front door and take a step out into the world.
The wet warm pile of freshly delivered ham and cheese sandwiches twists my left ankle as I step on it at the top of the stairs; lying in a heap at the bottom, I look up; done in by some ham and cheese sandwiches, I think as I reach over for my bookbag which had gone flying as I fell down, awkwardly, the steps in front of my house.
Take 2, I think as I get up; starting to count the steps to 7, I reach the street and put out my thumb to hail a spacejet taxi; I can’t believe that today is the day, I think as I recenter my tie on my dress shirt to the middle; this is the day that I meet with my publisher to see about writing another book, I message to my wife through videotelepathy and she gets the charge, nearly, instantly.
Good luck, she thinks back to me and I get the message; I smile; I don’t need luck, I think, just a freshly pressed suit and a whole lot of
“Juevos! Juevos for sale!”, the stranger yells out as he barely misses me on his bike.
“Hey mister!”, he continues talking to me, “you want any juevos?”
“Nah”, I tell the stranger as I stick my thumb back out to hail the spacejet taxi, “I already got some. But, hey man! Thanks.”
4 Things You Can Do To Make Going Through Big Change Less Painful
When I was first an employee in the 1970’s, it seemed to me that most companies were fairly stable: people worked at one place for a long time; organizations didn’t “restructure” unless they were involved in a merger or acquisition; companies’ products or services changed slowly, if at all. (“New and improved” usually meant something pretty insignificant.)
Now, all bets are off. People change jobs regularly, and in most organizations it’s highly unusual for someone – especially in the leadership and management ranks – to stay at that company for his or her entire career. Companies “re-org” yearly, it seems…and not just minor shifts, but wholesale changes in structure and personnel. And companies’ products and services – as well as the business models whereby those things are created, marketed and sold – shift at a dizzying pace as the business world becomes ever more customer-centric and international. In other words, change – daily, disruptive change – is here to stay.
Unfortunately, most of us human beings aren’t very fond of change, especially change that’s imposed upon us from outside. And as a result, change can bring lowered morale and productivity, higher turnover, poor communication, lack of clarity, interpersonal tension…a host of problems large and small. The good news is, there are some relatively simple things leaders can do to make change much easier for those around them:
Increase understanding: My mom used to have a cartoon posted on the bulletin board in our kitchen. It was a picture of a mushroom with a frustrated face, and the caption read: “They must think I’m a mushroom. They keep me in the dark and feed me sh*t.” I suspect that ‘s how a lot of employees feel when big changes happen in their organizations. As a leader, share whatever you can, as soon as you can. I understand that sometimes legal issues, or issues of confidentiality, prevent a full sharing – but leaders often use those things as an excuse. Really think deeply about how to let people know, as early on as possible, what’s going to happen, why, when, and how it will affect them. Then be ready for questions, and be as honest and simple as possible in responding to those questions. And it’s OK if you can’t answer everything – most people will respect that as long as you’re honest and simple about not being able to answer. For instance, “I’m sorry, but I can’t talk about that aspect of the change yet – I’ll let you know what’s happening as soon as I can.” Sharing as much as possible of the what, why, when and how will make people feel much less like mushrooms, and ease the overall angst dramatically.
Clarify & reinforce priorities. CEOs and boards make big changes in their companies to better position the enterprise to achieve its priorities (one hopes).
How to Dance Cumbia
Before waltzing into a Tejano nightclub—or into any big party in South Texas, for that matter—you should know how to dance cumbia. Originally a folk dance from Colombia, the cumbia shuffled across Latin America, picking up small changes along the way, and has comfortably settled here with a distinct Tejano flair. “The dance found at weddings and clubs in Texas isn’t something you’ll usually see in competition or that is formally taught,” says Jessica Santiago, who has been grooving professionally for ten years and co-owns Calle Ocho, a studio in San Antonio. So where does one learn it? “By watching friends and family,” she says. If your inner circle isn’t hip to the steps, don’t worry: The moves are wonderfully simple. Crank up Selena’s “Baila Esta Cumbia,” stand with both feet together, and listen for the one-two-three beat. Then, on each beat, (1) shift your right foot behind the left at an angle; (2) take a small step in place with your left foot; (3) move your right foot back to the starting position. Repeat the sequence on the other side, starting with your left foot.
You MURDER_as_fuck your only opportunity because you are scared of success; what a pussy, huh?
WARNING: Next section contains graphic material that may (yeah, isn’t) suitable for children (or probably anyone, for that matter). Proceed to your own discretion (or you can go back to living your normal life). You’ve been served notice, Yo.
I switch the steel blade in my hand to my right hand; I look down at it glistening in the lamp from the street peaking into the dark dead-end alley; be true, I think to myself as I take a step towards Heatherate and Jacobate who are still taking steps towards me; I close my eyes, after scanning their position one last time, and leap towards Jacobate; the blade hangs up on his trachea; I push it more and the steel rips it open; the blood gets on my body; on my face and on my hands, I smile with my eyes closed; lick my lips, it’s sweet; I sink my teeth into his warm skin; I can’t stop now as his blood runs down my throat; now, to Heatherate, I think as I turn my head towards where she was; the blade enters her body near her navel and goes up until catching on her rib cage; she is convulsing as my hands enter her body and lock on to her heart; I’ll be eating well tonight, I think as I pull.
Eventually, you’ll have to explore that dark desolate part of you that you have hidden; recommend working with a professional and taking a professionally prescribed medication, for this, Yo.
Expert Asserts that Retraining is the Best Response to AI Automation
A chief strategy officer has stated that retraining is the answer to the threat that AI represents to jobs and livelihoods. However, several other industry leaders back other solutions to this major stumbling block in the age of automation.
RETRAINING AS RETAINING
Jeremy Auger, a Chief Strategy Officer at D2L, an educational technology company, has asserted in a post on entrepreneur.com that the way for humans to maintain their relevance in the labor force in the face of artificial intelligence (AI) and automation developments is through ongoing, career-long retraining. His voice is added to a choir of individuals who are preaching the same message.
Auger argues that AI represents an unprecedented challenge to the work force on account of its cerebral capabilities, which could see it replacing the human workforce “in the cognitive space as well as the physical one.” He argues that
“learning can’t end with graduation. To be competitive, companies will need to step up and provide education opportunities themselves, while encouraging self-directed learning so they can ensure that their workers are continually acquiring new skills”
Firstly, he argues that we need to change what people learn. Rather than attempt to match AI in ability, we should instead aim to cultivate the skills that AI is unlikely to develop, such as “innovation and creativity: seeing connections in seemingly unrelated things.” This is the impetus behind other related programs like IBM’s P-Tech, which seeks to give children today a more tech-oriented education that befits tomorrow’s automation-driven world.
He also argues that we should shift the onus of education away from parents and schools, and towards ourselves and the companies we are part of, who should “take responsibility for continually providing opportunities for their employees to develop.” This is a view shared by David Kenny, IBM’s senior Vice President for Watson, who wrote in an article for Wired that we should be
“updating the Federal Work-Study program, something long overdue, [which] would give college students meaningful, career-focused internships at companies rather than jobs in the school cafeteria or library”
IS THERE ANOTHER ANSWER?
However, retraining and re-educating is not the end-all-be-all answer to the ever-growing issue that is automation.
Looking for help?
Do you feel hopeless and need help? Contact suicide hotline if you need someone to talk to. If you have friend in need of help, ask your friend to contact the hotline too.
For those willing to know, here are the 7 Easiest Painless Ways of Killing Yourselves Quickest. This article is strictly for those who are looking into ideas for a writing a short story. If you’re really looking for ways to kill yourself please stop reading and see a shrink, or get high, or have awesome and meaningless sex, or run. You should also readDon’t Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control or the best selling book on suicide by Dr. Paul Quinnett Suicide: The Forever Decision.
Moving on, suicide has become extremely common these days. Japan is one of the top countries in the world where suicide is extremely common. Surprisingly, a lot of teenagers have been reported in the suicidal cases. Here you might also be interested in our list of 10 countries with the highest suicide rates.
According to many people, suicide is an individual right. Whether or not people agree with it is a totally different debate but the amount of pain they feel while they die is an important matter. Sounds interesting? Let’s quickly start with our list of 7 Easiest Painless Ways of Killing Yourselves Quickest…
7. Carbon Monoxide Inhalation
Carbon monoxide is one of the most highly toxic gasses, which can cause some serious health problems or even death pretty easily. It is dangerous because it does not have any odor taste or color and it is not even noticeable during the initial stage, which is why a person moves closer to death and does not even realize it. When carbon monoxide enters the body it mixes with hemoglobin, which eventually forms carboxyhemoglobin. When it is formed it stops the oxygen and hemoglobin from binding with each other resulting in hypoxia. This brings down the capacity of blood to carry oxygen a great deal.
6. Sleeping Pills
Taking sleeping pills or poison is one of the common ways of committing suicide. It is considered to be one of the easiest and quickest ways to die. Some of most common poisons include drug overdose, pesticides and hydrogen cyanide.
Poison is pretty famous for killing people in a very short span of time. Sleeping pills are also easily available in the market to help the elderly sleep well but its overdose can easily kill anyone.
Anesthesia is usually used on people who are about to get operated. It doesn’t let patients feel any sort of pain, as the brain is not able to receive the signals through the blood. When in anesthesia you completely lose the sense of feeling and you can simply not feel the pain, so killing yourself without pain becomes pretty easy. Anesthesia has become an extremely popular way of killing, which is why it stands at number five in our list of 7 Easiest Painless Ways of Killing Yourselves Quickest.
4. Lethal injection
Introduced in 1970’s in Oklahoma, the method is approved by the Government of United States for being painless. The process is divided into three stages. A person is supposed to get injected with anesthesia to eliminate any sort of pain. Then the person is injected with pancuronium, which is also known as a paralytic agent. Injecting the paralytic agent stops a person breathing and he finally gets a shot of potassium chloride, which stops the heartbeat right away and causes instant death. This is undoubtedly one of the painless and quickest ways of killing oneself.
Drowning is also considered one of the top ways to die quickly. It does not take too long for a person to get suffocated under water. It can take a few seconds or minutes to lose consciousness before the water fills the lungs completely. Most of the people have committed a suicide simply by throwing themselves off the bridge into a deep river or sea.
Hanging is a way that is used by many countries around the world to kill those who are given a death penalty. It is considered one of the quickest and easiest ways to kill someone. It is an extremely common way of suicide. When the person is choked it only takes about 5 to 10 seconds for them to lose consciousness before they die.
1. Shooting in the Head or Heart
Although it may seem very painful, but shooting right at the heart or in the head may cause an instant death and the person might not even feel the pain, even if he or she does it may last only for a few seconds.