23 Sep “I’m So Used To Feeling Like S*it That When I Do Something That Is Good For Me, It Feels Foreign, And I Push It Away, Yo”, I tell my wife. She replies as she turns off the TV, “well then we won’t watch How To Make Love To Potatoes on TV.” #randomAF (1.3k)
“I’m not saying that I don’t want to watch it”, I reply as I reach over to the remote control, “it’s just that I’m so used to feeling like shit that doing something good for me feels strange, and I push it away, right?”
“One day”, my wife replies as she reaches into the bowl for a handful of #palomitasAF, “you’ll start feeling good, and you’ll completely reverse your decisions–you’ll start pushing away what is bad and choosing more what is good for you.”
“Well”, I reply as I turn the TV back on, “don’t expect that to happen today. What do you want to watch?”
My wife replies, “I wish you would give the show a chance–it is life changing, really. What is it going to take for you to start doing things that are good for you?”
“12 pesos and a fresh bag of Haki”, I reply as I flip through the channels, “but, no really–I don’t know, Yo. How did you change things in your life, hun?”
My wife replies as she puts a handful of #palomitasAF into her mouth, “I guess that in time, I just started seeing how much better my life was when I started doing things that were good for me. You remember how I used to love eating HNTURE?”
I reply, “oh, do I!”
“Well”, my wife replies as she reclines her chair, “right now, I just feel good and am so productive, with discernment, I know that my life is really good and I don’t want to go back to eating HNTURE. I became used to feeling good–when my life is good, I feel good. I suppose that at some point, I just started to really accept that feeling good was ok. Then, at some point, I just saw that my decisions really affected my feelings, and what I could do in life. I made peace with feeling good–and, not feeling guilty about it or resisting feeling/being good–perhaps, I just saw how much better my life was, and at some point, I realized that the life, of doing things that are good for me, made everything better. Make sense?”
I reply, as I turn up the volume on the TV, “I literally have no clue what you just said. Anyways, I’m happy. I think that’s what it boils down to, right?”
Why We Find It Hard to Do Things That Are Good for Us
“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield
I find it hard to do things I know are good for me, harder than anything else in my day-to-day life.
Yoga, meditation, journaling: these have all been invaluable tools during my personal journey, yet I have to will, sometimes fight myself in order to do them.
It’s not that the activities themselves are hard (although yoga can be intense). It’s the motivation, the internal debate that starts up every day that I struggle with. Afterward, I feel great, more in touch with myself and far more at peace. But to get there, it’s a psychological mission.
I used to think it was just me—that everyone else sat down to these activities with an eager mind and an open heart, especially people who write about these things, like I do, and practice them daily, like I want to.
The fact that I was less skipping joyfully to and from these activities and more dragging myself with gritted teeth left me feeling like a fraud, which meant I wanted to do these things even less.
Over time, I learned more about self-acceptance. I learned to accept that this was me, the way I am, and that perhaps I will always find it difficult to sit down and do these things, whether it makes sense or not. Yet, I still felt alone with my struggles and, therefore, afraid to really talk about them with anyone else.
Last week, I was talking to a friend of mine about challenges he was having with a course I run. He was saying he felt resistance, he didn’t know why, and that it seemed like everyone else found sitting down and doing the work a walk in the park. They could just do it, whereas for him it was a daily battle.
That sounded familiar…
And as soon as I wasn’t trying to hide the resistance, as soon as I let myself talk about it openly, I could think more clearly about why I felt that way, and what was behind that resistance. And out of all those reasons came the realization: the resistance is on my side; sometimes it’s just misguided.
Resistance to Things Changing
When we engage in practices like journaling, meditation, or even exercising, we might feel resistance to change.
This resistance might conflict with a desire for healthy change—the desire that prompted us to start up that activity in the first place—but it has a very healthy grounding behind it: change can be scary.
“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”
HOW TO MAKE TACOS AL PASTOR AT HOME / CÓMO HACER TACOS DE TROMPO EN CASA
BEST AUTHENTIC HOMEMADE TACOS AL PASTOR
This recipe for Tacos al Pastor was given to me by my sister, she wrote the recipe while watching a TV show in Mexico, they were having a competition for the best Tacos al Pastor in Mexico City. The most famous taquerias were represented there, and the winner was kind enough to share his recipe. My sister took notes and this is the best recipe.
As a Mexican living abroad, it is not easy for me to satisfy the craving for eating really good Tacos al Pastor or Tacos de Trompo, as we call them in my hometown. Something happens inside taco trucks or Mexican-style restaurants outside of México that cannot explain in this short space, but you can see that there is a Mexican-looking guy cooking in the kitchen but the food doesn’t taste anything like the real thing.
I know they are focusing their business to the local clientele’s palate but please, why change the flavors 180 degrees? That is why I am always looking for ways to recreate those flavors at home as much as possible and this recipe is one of them.
Tacos al pastor are cooked on a vertical spit, the meat is stacked in the shape of an inverted top. Over the years, I tried different methods to mimic the tacos as they are sold in Mexico. One method was stacking the meat and bake it in the oven, it just doesn’t work, the result was soft meat and not the crispier texture of the vertical pit, then the classic skillet versions where the meat sticks a little bit to the pan, the kabob style got better results than the previous cooking methods until one day I happen to visit blogger Kalofas and saw his Gyro recipe. Using a rotisserie to make it. Bingo!I had found what I needed, a vertical rotisserie oven small enough to place on your countertop. And after doing some shopping via eBay and 26 dollars, including shipping and handling, I am the proud owner of a Carousel Rotisserie. For me, this is the only way to cook tacos al pastor and also Tacos Arabes, Gyros, Chicken Shawarma, and a whole chicken, too. You can buy a newer version of this
Vertical Rotisserie online. Or get the same like mine, just click on the link bellow the ingredients list.